Sunday, 5 December 2010

You Must Not Quit

This will sound harsh but I always find it difficult when people listen to your troubles and then say ‘Well, there are others worse off than you’. Yes. There are. There is War, famine, death, illness and poverty all across the World. I accept that and it’s heartbreaking. But it’s all relative and maybe my worries, to an outside observer, appear to be small and insignificant but they are, still, my worries.

There are people in the newspapers, in magazines and on TV who tell stories of how they survived accidents, ill health, homelessness…of life in the Services, on the Front Line, risking their lives to save others. The word ‘hero’ is common in our society and, in most cases, is rightly applied.

But what about the people who struggle everyday to make ends meet, not poor enough to get help, too poor to be comfortable? What about the millions of mothers struggling to feed their children, struggling to get help to deal with PND, struggling to deal with miscarriage? What about the people who face bereavement, redundancy, debt, divorce and relationship troubles every single day? The family members who are caring at home for disabled children, the terminally ill and the elderly?

Modern life has many pressures. It’s expensive and hectic and expectations are high. We are told how we should ‘ideally’ look, what we should eat, watch and wear. We are told what sort of possessions we should have, what sort of parents we should be, how we should have it all and never struggle, feel sad or inadequate. And that’s where the problem lies. Because what scares you and what worries you is incredibly important but we are often so hung up on what people think of us, of showing weakness, that we don’t ask for help when we need it.

I have never risked my life to save another, never faced great poverty or adversity, never suffered from a life threatening illness. But in the last two and half years I have miscarried one baby of twins, lost my mother suddenly to a heart attack when I was 5 months pregnant, been the victim of an identity fraud which left us literally penniless and in debt, suffered very badly from PND and been on the verge of ending my life as a result of depression. Were there other people worse off than me through that period? Yes of course. Does that matter? Well actually, no, it doesn’t.

When I look back I don’t really know how I coped with everything or how I ended up here, feeling better, stronger, working part time, caring for my son and husband, running a fledgling business. But I did. I swallowed my pride and admitted I couldn’t cope and I got the help. And I have never looked back. My husband printed off a poem for me many months ago. It’s called ‘Don’t Quit’ and it ends with the line ‘It’s when things seem worse that you must not quit’ and that proved true for me.

So is there a point to all this? Yes. It’s this. If anyone reading this is struggling with anything, no matter what the problem, don’t feel embarrassed or inadequate. Don’t be afraid to talk, to seek help and say that you can’t cope. And if you have overcome a problem then don’t be afraid to feel proud of yourself, to recognise that you faced your fears and beat them.

And always remember that heroes come in all shapes and sizes and some of the greatest are the unsung heroes who work hard day in and day out, raise children, maintain homes and families, who overcome their personal demons and live to fight another day. And if you look at it like that, and don’t quit…. then we’re all heroes.

K xx

Kathryn isn't just a fantastic writer of the Coffee to a Tea Blog (The Daily Grind), she is the mumtreupreneur behind the Coffee to a Tea business. Selling select teas and coffees, Kathryn hand picks the best for the brew so we don't have to. She's just as passionate about creating a good cuppa as I am about drinking them. We make an excellent pairing. Check her shop and her blog out. Maybe you'll see more of her soon on Brew Drinking Thinkings? Who knows! I have a feeling she's make my ideal partner in crime.

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