Thursday, 30 December 2010

Send in the Spanx!

For the past year, I've toddled along at a size 12/14, nicely. I was a comfortable 14 from July to the end of October. I don't mind being a 14; I enjoy representing the nations average - curvy, voluptuous even. Not only do I have a reasonable sized rack, I also have hips, a curved back and a waist that puts it all into proportion.

Our media has worked hard in the last few years, working hard to ensure that no one feels huge for being a 14, that it's nothing to be ashamed of, making it the slowly but surely become the Jessica Rabbit of dress sizes.

When November came I felt my inner thighs meet and the top of my arms rub slightly against my armpit. I felt my chin weigh down a little as it doubled, and my boobs get bigger, but smaller in proportion to the rest of me. I leaned up in the bath and watched as my rolls of stomach bunched together into one whale-like mass of flesh. My silver stretch marks are hidden behind newer crimson cracks of flesh. 

It's happened again. I'm making the transition.

The transition that is from the nations average, the nation's proud example of a curvy, real, weighty woman to the size 16.

It seems that the harder the country and its media works at making a size 14 acceptable, a size 16 and above becomes less so, even to the point of once you've reached a 16 and 18 and a 20 aren't nearly half as shocking. It's one hell of a slippery slope.

Size 16+ = overweight. It's true. No matter how big you boobs are and no matter where you carry it, size 16 is the representation of nothing other than a woman who's let herself go.

So, I look at myself, naked, in the mirror and cry. Looking at my hips, that once were structured by bone, rather than hidden by a bib of mummy fat; my boobs that once stood independently under boob tubes or pjs and that now need a suspension crane to keep them off the floor. Once sexy lingerie, which was merely for the purpose of decorating my exciting regions, now leaves my shoulder with red bruise-like bra strap lines and creates a huge moat-like dint in my sides and back. No matter the size, no matter the fitting; there's simply too much flab for even the best fitted piece to make a difference. 

And I don't want to look like this. I don't want to feel overweight, heavy. I don't want to struggle to get to the top of the stairs and I certainly don't want my face to resemble a beach ball. I'd prefer it if Spanx actually did create more a slim-lined shape rather than rolling up and digging in and pinging around places you didn't know existed.

What to do? It's time to be strict. And so my new years resolution is to lose weight. I'll diet, and (so my own surprise) will exercise. I've bought the new Active 2 for PS3 and I actually own trainers. Not cool ones, of course, that would be too good to be true. I also have a few iPhone Apps that I'll be sharing and exploring with you, as well as trying out the new 'Body Confidence for Mums - The Y Plan Body Confidence' DVD that I've been sent to review.

I've decided to join in with a few 'losing weight' communities - The Twitter #1BabyElephant Weigh in Club, every Sunday,  by @WhiskersCakes and also Healthier Monkeys from the Monkeying Around blog. 

Here's to hoping for a slimmer 2011. 


There's a New Years Resolution/Losing Weight thread on the BECKICKLESIE forum. Do join us!

Not a sponsored post! I have been sent a copy of 'Body Confidence for Mums - The Y Plan Body Confidence' to try out, but other than that... it's all me, baby!

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