Saturday, 11 December 2010

Bad Mummy



It’s a bit swish over here. 

I am loving the fancy font up there may have to try and jazz my header up a bit.  Won't happen any time soon as I am as technical as a legless toad.  Truly I am, I set a calendar reminder the other day for 2012; you may think that was organized of me but let me tell you it did not come in handy when the nation flooded to buy Take That tickets and I went shopping in town because my blackberry failed to tell me to stay home and join the other millions in squashing the internet in the hope of a front row glimpse of mark, Robbie or Gary.

I know Take That supposedly have five member but really if the other two 'dancers' were to form a duet do you think Ticketmaster would get so much abuse the day their tour went on sale?

Anyways, I am being trés rude, not even bothered to introduce myself. I am 'northernmum'. I know it is a stupid name but when I set up my blog I just wanted to crack on and write and gave little thought to my title. I promise when doctor who lends me his phone box I will nip back and change it to something witty and cool but until then...

I have three children, my second was an 'accident', well he is the second born twin so certainly not planned. My life is a mesh of school runs, poor housework, appalling ironing, play dates, dog walks, attempts to run etc. I, like most other mums, have no time to do anything however ironically I manage to spend a lot of time writing blog posts, gossiping on twitter and eating bad food. So really can I honestly claim the statement that I have no time to do anything?

I am also quite a rubbish mother, proven this morning when at six thirty I point blank refused to get out of bed and sent the four year old twins downstairs to 'shut the dog up'. I completely forgot that the night before I had got the Christmas decorations out and had failed to put away the giant Christmas bags that I keep them in.

Hence the first sight my children saw this morning was a room full of twinkling Christmas lights and snowmen handing from every mantelpiece. And in the corner of the room two enormous Christmas bags plastered with images of Father Christmas and presents. I was re-awoken by whoops of joy and cried of 'he's been, he's been'. To make matters worse we had posted our letters to the big man the day before so twin boy summarized we must have paid extra for express delivery. 

Well you must know what is coming next, the happy sounds subsided as my children ventured to look in their bags. As my sleep fogged brain worked out what was happening, I opened my eyes to see two tearful twins in front of me who were crying, 'Father Christmas has been Mummy but we must be on the naughty list because he has not left us a present.'

Now at this point I could have owned up and again without hindsight, I do feel bad but the pair have been a little troublesome lately so instead, I decided to tell them Santa was warning them. If they didn't start to behave they really would have empty sacks on Christmas day.


Needless to say, two very subdued little ones went off to school today.

I hope they don't tell the teacher on me...




Amazing? This talent is hilarious; run over there quick and follow, I don't mind, I'll still be here when you've done. This bird's definitely a northerner like me and knows how to write them to entice and captivate you from start to finish. I challenge you not to fall in love with this delight of a blog. A recent favourite of mine is 'Sorry to bother you Santa...'- check it out. You will chuckle your little booty off.

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